Personal Growth

by Jennifer Ellison

I have always admired individuals with a green thumb. Years ago, my husband's grandfather passed, and my colleagues got together and presented me with some sort of potted houseplant to express their sympathies. "Don't worry - these are impossible to ruin," I recall one of them saying. It was this beautiful, vibrant thing in a gorgeous, stoned denim-colored pot. I knew it was just a matter of time before this beautiful plant - full of life and sentiment - would begin to decay in my incapable hands. While it did last longer than I expected, eventually my suspicions were confirmed and it died. That was my last attempt at anything resembling gardening.

In 2020, I think a lot of us started thinking about churning our own butter, growing our own vegetables, and returning to a more self-sufficient way of life in general. I know I certainly did. That inspiration, coupled with ever-rising inflation, has brought me to a place of thinking about gardening again. These little thoughts enter my head (as I'm spending $7 on a bag of grapes) and I think, 'I could give it a shot.'

After resigning this year, I decided to go for it. I brought in family to help build a raised planter box. We built a beautiful, six-foot bed out of red cedar. It looked (and smelled) perfect. We purchased soil from the local hardware store, and a good friend of mine and I made a day of it looking for the right seasonal plants. We visited a beautiful nursery that held over fifteen acres of plants and herbs. As each step came together, I realized how much beauty was in just the process of bringing things from mind to fruition. The journey itself. A few days after planting, my soil settled and I could see the original soil of my transplants poking up. I asked my gardener friend what to do. She gave me the obvious advice (umm..add more soil) but with a caveat: "Ellison," she said in her Southern drawl, "everything you plant might not grow, and that's okay." I had so much peace with that; the reminder that it is okay to not be an expert, to not be perfect; to just be.

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It is with that mindset that I want to encourage you today. What is it that's been on your heart or on your mind that you've been tinkering with for days, weeks - maybe even months or years? What is it that you're afraid of failing at? William Carey once said, "I'm not afraid of failure; I'm afraid at succeeding at the wrong things." I want to encourage you to roll the dice a little bit - try doing something you've always wanted to try. There's great personal growth waiting for you on the other side regardless of the result. In my case.... there are also Rosemary and Dill. Even better.

-Jennifer